Emily Byers
From: Diocese of Lafayette, Louisiana, United States
Consecration Date: 06/16/12 – The Immaculate Heart of Mary. I chose this feast day because it’s one of my favorite Marian devotions and is celebrated on a Saturday, which allowed more of my out-of-town guests to attend.
Immediate Family: My immediate family includes my parents and two younger brothers.
Spiritual Children: 3 goddaughters, too many Confirmandi to count! Over 150 former students from my 13 years of teaching, many of whom are still part of my life.
Education: BA English: Creative Writing, BA Spanish, MA Theology, certificate in spiritual direction
Current Job: Freelance writer and editor
How did the Divine Bridegroom call you to be His bride as a CV and how did you respond?
During college, I realized I was spending more and more time with our Eucharistic Lord in Adoration, and dating began to lose its appeal. I initially explored religious life, since I was more familiar with that form of consecrated life. Strangely, all of the convents I visited felt like home, but the sisters in each place agreed that I was not being called to their community. A mentor encouraged me to speak to a knowledgeable local priest about consecrated virginity, and it immediately resonated with me in a way that religious life had not. The notion of remaining in my home diocese to pray for my bishop and for priests really appealed to me. Many of my childhood friends were becoming diocesan priests, so the idea of supporting them in their priestly ministry through my prayer and presence spoke to my heart in a deeply personal way. That was my first experience with spiritual maternity: being a spiritual mother to seminarians and priests. In Adoration late one evening, I felt Jesus inviting me to be His bride, and I gave Him my forever “yes.”
Outstanding moments/graces from your Consecration Mass:
The moment I remember most from that day was actually spending time in Adoration before Mass with my spiritual director. I admitted to him that I was a little worried because I didn’t “feel” especially ready or excited for my consecration, though my heart was at peace. He assured me that the absence of strong feelings was indeed a great gift. I could be confident that I was offering all of myself to Jesus in a pure act of my will, not clouded by my emotions. Since I tend to naturally be an emotional person, I was able to recognize that my tranquility on that day was indeed a tremendous blessing.
Typical day in your life:
Unfortunately, chronic health issues over the last several years have really limited my apostolic commitments and even made it difficult to do things like work regular hours and attend daily Mass. Until recently, I was a teacher at a local Catholic school and coached their Drama Club. My daily life now looks much simpler than it did before my health declined, but most days still include prayer (Liturgy of the Hours, Adoration, spiritual reading, journaling) and work (working from home as a freelance writer and editor).
Hobbies/what you like to do in your free time:
I read widely (across many genres) and also love to write and to watch movies. I’m blessed to live close to my parents and one of my brothers, so I also get to enjoy family time at least once a week.
How you serve in the Church?
I’ve always felt that my “niche” in my diocese was twofold: (1) accompanying young people who are discerning priesthood or consecrated life, and (2) praying for priests. I also occasionally give talks about this vocation and offer spiritual direction to my former students.
How do you take care of your health?
As someone with chronic illness, this is sort of a loaded question for me! I am not able to be very physically active in this season of life, but I do try to make sure that I get plenty of sleep and don’t push myself beyond my limits. I also focus on managing stress and taking care of my mental health through going to therapy and maintaining strong friendships.
What does community look like for you?
My community includes my fellow consecrated virgins (both in my diocese and elsewhere), the priests and seminarians of my diocese, my close friends and their spouses and children, my parish family, and my community at the school where I teach (particularly my colleagues and students). I’m also incredibly fortunate that my parents have been a huge source of support and encouragement in my vocation from the very beginning until now. They are my best friends and biggest cheerleaders.
Challenges in the CV vocation and how you address those?
The single greatest challenge for me has been being accountable to myself in living out my rule of life. For example, if I don’t schedule regular spiritual direction or plan my annual retreat, no one else will do that for me. If I skimp on my daily prayer time, no one will know (except for Jesus, of course, and maybe my two cats). Thankfully, the other CVs in my diocese have become great “accountability buddies.” We are in touch regularly about the joys, sorrows, and difficulties we experience living out this vocation. I’m so fortunate to have such wise and prayerful women to be accountable to who understand the unique challenges of this way of life.
What causes, subjects, or current events are you passionate about?
Limiting children’s exposure to technology / Phone-free schools / Encouraging parents to delay their children’s introduction to smartphones and social media
Favorite Scripture verse or passage and why?
Isaiah 62:5 is engraved on the inside of my wedding band. It reminds me of my chosenness as the Lord’s beloved bride.
Favorite CV resource(s) and why:
The United States Association of Consecrated Virgins is full of wise, holy women with a wealth of experience living out this vocation!
I’ve also benefitted from connecting with other associations and virgins from other countries via social media.
National and international retreats and conferences are also a great resource for ongoing formation and a beautiful way to experience community among other CVs.
How has your relationship with God changed/deepened since becoming a CV?
In some ways, I was already relating to Jesus as my Spouse before my consecration, but there has also been some real transformation since then. I’ve grown in simplicity and humility, with an increased awareness of Christ’s constant faithfulness and nearness to me, especially during trials and suffering. I approach God in a more authentic way than I did before and have more openness to the way He wants to shape my own unique humanness into sainthood— whereas before my consecration, I had a tendency to see holiness as my own personal “project.” I also feel a greater obligation now to remain close to the Lord in prayer and to intercede for others, especially priests.
How have you/your life changed since becoming a CV?
Becoming a person who’s known throughout the diocese was definitely an adjustment (there are only 3 CVs here, so just about everyone knows us!), but this public aspect of the vocation has led to some beautiful encounters and opportunities, and I’m grateful for it. I also have more confidence and peace, which stems from the reality that my life has been “decided” in a permanent, irrevocable way; I belong to Someone forever, and that truth is such a consolation.
Which Saint has been your biggest inspiration as a CV and why?
While she lived in the cloister rather than in the world, I’m very inspired by St. Clare of Assisi’s courage and example of evangelical poverty. She blazed a trail by pursuing a new form of religious life that was misunderstood by many throughout her lifetime, an experience that I think many CVs can relate to. Clare spoke and wrote about her Divine Bridegroom with such ardent love, and she had such a deep desire to imitate Him in His poverty. I’ve always wanted to be like her!
Most inspiring art in general in your life and why?
The novel The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene is one I’ve returned to again and again because of its visceral portrayal of God’s mercy triumphing in human weakness. I also love Dante’s Divine Comedy (especially the Purgatorio) and Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam from the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Advice to women discerning this vocation:
Find a trustworthy and competent spiritual director and lean on their guidance. They don’t necessarily need to be an expert on consecrated virginity; being a person of deep prayer who can help you listen to the Holy Spirit is more important. Be prepared to advocate for yourself and to teach others about this vocation. It is still not widely understood, and this can be frustrating. If anyone is ever dismissive or discouraging, don’t take it personally. Trust that God will provide everything you need in your formation, as long as you are receptive and committed to the process. Let Him form you in the ways that He desires, not according to your own ideas or plans. As St. John Henry Newman says, “He knows what He is about.”
Resources:
Instagram: @aconsecratedvirgin
Email: aconsecratedvirgin@gmail.com
